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I'm Fine (Demo EP)

by SHELZ

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1.
Push 03:02
Push push push I can’t touch the ground Push push push It’s swirling me around Push push push I can’t touch the ground I got sand in my eyes Salt on my tongue Breath is getting heavy and my body’s getting numb Currents, big waves Dragging me out I’m trying to think but the sea is too loud I can’t see the shore Not anymore Lost in the blue don’t know who to call for Been feeling this way Caught up in the haze Sun’s in my face and I know I got to… Push push push I can’t touch the ground Push push push It’s swirling me around Push push push I can’t touch the ground Feel the grains on my skin Drought in my throat The water has blurred all the words that I wrote Big fish underneath Showing their teeth I’m longing for land to dry off in the heat An instant of peace Bird’s above me Maybe someday I will learn how to swim Pull me back in Resting my chin On a piece of slight hope that maybe I’d win Push push push I can’t touch the ground Push push push It’s swirling me around Push push push I can’t touch the ground Push push push Mhm Push push push Mhm Push push push Mhm Push push
2.
Pretty/Lucky 05:38
Man I feeling so shitty I used to bathe in self-pity But now I'm feeling so pretty Pretty high up in the sky I used to live in a mansion But I was feeling so anxious My mother she says I'm precious Precious like a day of light Lucky that I found you hiding in my head Now I can learn how to cut this ugly thread When you're bored you can pretend that you are dead I'm here instead In my own bed Lying on the memories of stupid shit I said Yeah I was feeling so greedy I wanted everything freely But now I'm feeling so willing Willing to try and find out why I used to sleep for a century I woke up feeling so empty But now I'm no longer tempted Tempted to try and close my eyes Lucky that I found you right under my head Now we dust off the memories we had Whenever you are bored you can sit right at my desk I'm here instead In my own bed Lying on the memories of stupid shit I said
3.
Fluid 03:23
I’m out Out of your spectrum You want me to wear it I’ll wear it out, wear it out Be the exception My god, you’re so fragile So delicate So grossed out It’s an expression My body, my hairstyle, my gender It’s all gone now It never was real It’s all in your head It’s all my head - hey! I’m out Not ordinary I don’t believe in your assignments at birth Outside Of your binary Your system is falling apart It doesn’t work out I know it’s scary When people think they’re in control You get so stressed out Oh it is tragic It’s all just made up It’s fluid, you know - hey! We define labels, labels don’t define us
4.
I'm Fine 04:37
I need meds to keep me calm I need meds to calm me down My mother doesn't understand a thing What's happening to me? Drowning in childhood memories I need naps to keep me going I need maps to find me out My loved ones are concerned for me Oh I wish I could be So careless, so beautiful, so free Maybe I'll find my way Yeah I'll find it someday Some days just feel like rain Pouring down cold and grey And my pain can split into tiny little pieces rushing through my body Some days just feel like rain Ooh but I am fine Wondering why Ooh, honey I am fine I just like crying Even if I seem lost Even if I seem mad Even if I have no trust I just keep hoping for the best, oh yes Ooh but I am fine Wondering why Ooh, honey I am fine I just like crying I need meds to keep me calm I need meds to calm me down And I don't understand a thing
5.
Reminder 02:50
It's time Stop trying to please everyone else No one's trying to please you that hard So just stop and please yourself You know you could be so much happier You could have it so much better If you would just start to trust yourself If you don't like it Make it new If you don't want it There are other things that you could do And change your mind As much as you need to And if you're in bad company Try saying fuck you It's time

about

I sat in my room for a few months and wrote & recorded everything by myself. It was so different from my experiences with my Band, but it was very freeing. It is a very personal EP with songs reflecting on my mental health, my gender and my identity. I am proud of the result and hope you enjoy it.

credits

released March 26, 2018

Thanks to Miriam Franz for the Cover Art.

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SHELZ Vienna, Austria

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